What If...

Questions you might be asked if you own a 3 and a 1/2 year old... (especially mine, who phrases them exactly as you see below)

What if the whole house was covered in napkins?
What if monkeys jumped onto the road? Would they break it?
What if my skin ran off me?
What if I flew into a tree and got stuck?
What if I ate dirt?
What if there was a big split in the sky and clouds came out?
What if the whole road was red?
What if I couldn't go fast enough for the lawn mower to eat me?
What if my pants were dry?
What if I stayed on the couch ALL day?
What if I ate a gorilla man who came and knocked at our door?
What if my hair was so, so, so, so cutted that it was short?
What if I only ever could wear shorts, ever?
What if my arm grew so big it could take up this whole room?
What if, when I am big, I slept in the dirt and worked like worker man?
What if I grew so big that I was bigger than Daddy?
What if I could lift our whole van?
What if I had new shoes that were red?
What if I ate all my food and even then had something red on my plate?
What if Mary cried?
What if I took my Lightning McQueen car and rolled it over our street and it broke the cars?
What if the whole house had pencils on it?

This coming from a boy who recognizes that zoos are for spiders. Why else would we have zoos?