Monday, June 02, 2008


I am fairly level-headed. I recognize that things which you cleaned yesterday may very well get dirty again today. I especially recognize this as my family grows. Leah, in particular, has the gift of throwing all clothing, clean and soiled, into the clothes hamper. I rewash hordes of clothes for the simple fact that after sitting at the bottom of the hamper for 4 days they now smell like their genuinely dirty counterparts. I clean the bathroom, ideally daily, but realistically every third day; and just as soon as I clean it my son goes in to use it. Need I say more? I change sheets, only to have a baby explode out of a diaper that very afternoon. I wash dishes so that we might use them at breakfast, lunch and dinner. I vacuum because lint, and outside debris carried in on my perfect children's perfectly wiped feet, prefer clean floors. I dust so I can see where the new dust falls. In total, I am involved in a very intricate dance that has no ending, but occasionally bears the allusion of conclusion. This, I can handle. What I can not handle are the injustices which pile on top of the never-ending cycle o' cleaning.

Vacuuming the vacuum.

Defrosting the freezer.

Washing the washing machine.

The last one really gets me, and it got me specifically yesterday. I noticed that I had a ring around the top of my inner tub. Then I saw that there was grime on the agitator. What!? How can this be? I don't spill detergent and leave it. I keep the dust off the back, wiping down the top and inside of the lid fairly regularly. But somehow I was faced with a dirty washing machine. I grabbed the vinegar, a brush, an old rag, a toothbrush, a cup and got to work. I scrubbed the tub, agitator, bleach dispenser, fabric softener insert, water spigot, top, bottom, and on and on and on. When I was done I started to feel a sense of accomplishment. My washing machine was clean. I could put my clothes in it with confidence... but wait!

The clothes were dirty. They were only going to make the machine gross all over again. Added to this was the fact that no one could tell that my machine was now a glowing representation of godliness because nothing looked different on the outside! Injustice! So in retaliation I am spending today thinking about how I can market a self-cleaning machine and the millions it will make me.

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