Laugh or Cry

There is an expression that says, "If you don't laugh, you'll cry." I am sure everyone has a moment when they realize the truth of that saying. My week was one such revelation.

My children are wonderful! They are well behaved, useful, enjoyable little people who give so much joy to me each day. I would never trade being at home raising them, even for the best salary/fringe benefits/total package "career" job you could find. I look at my life and wonder, "wow - how did I get away with this?" I watch each day as my little son grows cuter and cuter. I see almost all of the idiosyncrasies in my girls take form, and develop. I don't miss a single career change that Caleb makes (he informed me yesterday he wants to be a horse trainer). Sure, there are hard times. Sure, there are days I wish I could "take a break", send my kids off on a school bus and come back into a quiet, CLEAN home. I am human, and so are my children. But overall, I don't think either of us would really want to be separated from one another for the entire day, only getting the chance to connect in the evenings and weekends. I am jealous over my children's time, and I want to be there to discover life with them - not hear about it from someone else.

However...

This last week went terribly awry, and while I may have days here and there, I can honestly say I had the worst week parenting - ever. This is no hyperbole. If I said right, then all went left. If I said stop, they kept going. They deliberately defied me. They exacerbated escalating conflicts which did not immediately concern them. They irritated one another to no end. Even Josiah struggled with an inordinate amount of fussing. I was brought to tears, along with Christopher, as day after day we poured ourselves out thinking, "how much longer can this last, God?" And then, just as mysteriously as it started, it stopped. Suddenly Caleb and Leah joyfully played together, respecting each other's space and genuinely working to cooperate. Bethany and Hannah followed through on responsibilities. Mary began using her words to communicate instead of simply screaming. And yes, even Josiah woke up with a huge smile which did not leave his face all morning. My children were home.

But I learned something in the midst of it. While perspective in life is vital, invalidating the reality of difficulty in another person's life is a shallow form self-aggrandizement. Perspective says, "my children are generally very well behaved, and even within this time of trial I am thankful that I only face relatively minor insurrections." Perspective reminds me to not exaggerate for the sake of inspiring pity in others. Perspective gently whispers that I still have so much to be thankful for in my life, and the lives of my children. Job inspires perspective. Invalidation seeks to undermine the reality of my difficulties by replacing them with someone else's version of my circumstances - a version that understates my cross to bear by pointing out the size of their own. Invalidation screams, "you can't say you are struggling because this is nothing compared to what I have dealt with!" Invalidation overwhelms with impotence by denying the trial, and trying to create guilt that you would even think your difficulty bears authenticity. It seeks to raise one above the other through incompatible comparison.

I was faced with both perspective, and invalidation over the course of my week. I had one woman share with me, through a gentle and quiet spirit, an encouraging word about how much she appreciates my children even in the midst of my exasperation. She pointed out how loving they are toward her child (who has some special needs), and how their manners speak of a solid foundation in quality character. It reminded me that I am dealing with a puddle of testing, not a sea of disappointments, and I was encouraged (I shared this with the children, to encourage them). The other interaction was a woman who overheard me share my current state of distress, and immediately pounced to admonish that, "at least you have your children home, and have the power to make them do what is right." She went on to say, without asking any questions about my current situation, that I should be thankful that my children are still young and can be responsive to correction. She would not complain, if she were me (mind you, I was asked by a close friend in a group setting how I was doing and it was through my reply that this woman opened fire) because I had no idea how much she would give to have her children back at home where she could control their waywardness. I felt bruised, and lonely after she finished. The only thing that loomed in my sight was the thought that unless my children were pursuing heinous sin I had no business feeling overwhelmed with my conviction to proactively parent.

I think I struggle with mixing the two. I think many people struggle. In our human nature we want attention, whether for the good we accomplish or the bad we survive. Our culture tends to place an inordinate amount of attention on the spectacular, so that we become desensitized to the reality of difficulty in other's lives, and focus wholly on our own right to receive consolation. By invalidating a trying circumstance for someone else we effectively demerit their right to experience what God has seen fit to use for their sanctification.

 

I hope this past week has taught me how to use perspective in future difficulties. I want to utilize the gift that often allows me to laugh, when I know I have reason to cry.

(Mary went to bed for "nap" in her crib, with the tent. This is what we found when we went to wake her.)

Bethany's Debut

Bethany came to us with this beautiful ballad, introducing it as her debut. We are thrilled to give you a front row-center rendition of "Bethany's Song". Enjoy.

Letter of the Law

Recently, my family and I sojourned in Circuit City. We used the guise of searching out computer printers as a cover for our real mission, which was to be the point-and-stare show for everyone shopping. In these situations, more than almost any other, do I feel the pressure to "perform". I want my children to sparkle, amaze, shine, bless, and even - dare I admit it - shut down all the nay-sayers. I used to be good at this job. When Leah was still small enough to be housed in our arsenal of a stroller I could glibly walk the aisles of department stores knowing that the looks I received were ones of admiration (how does she do it?), respect (look at how well they all behave), and envy (I wish my kids would act like that). Let me tell you something, from experience, humbling always comes... it just depends on how far down you need to go. Eventually we had to release Leah.

This brings me back to Circuit City, and the looks of terror we received as all eight of us clamored into an electronics store filled with highly expensive big-people toys. Needless to say I think everyone in the building knew Leah's name by the time we picked out our printer (which is beautiful). Leah follows the spirit of the law, which translated means she doesn't listen. I can say, "Leah, stay right here" and she hears, "Leah, don't leave the greater Monterey Peninsula." When I blurt, "Leah, stop crawling on the floor!" she registers,  "Sweetie, you are so cute as a puppy." Spirited is the polite description for my fourth born.

We finally made it through the checkout, (paying for only the printer!) and out of the building. We stopped at the curb so I could issue the following decree before heading to our van across the street in the parking lot:

Every single one of you must be holding either a hand, shopping cart, or stroller. No one is allowed to step off the curb without holding a hand, stroller, or cart. Period.

I thought I made myself very clear. Leah decided to follow the letter of the law, for once.

Okay Mama, I'm ready.

The Gratitude Campaign

I received this from my mom, and thought it was wonderful. Check it out!

The Gratitude Campaign

Fan

I am not a big "giver of awe" to celebrities. I think the combination of working in a family business that occasionally served the Hollywood elite, recognizing their right to privacy and enjoyable family outings coupled with my own unwillingness to see them as anything more than human has kept me from becoming smitten with any one personality. Mind you, I enjoy several actors in their profession, novelists, teachers, etc. but I have never spent idle minutes (dare I say hours for some) pining at the possibility of becoming personal friends, or intimates with them. I don't search out their private lives in magazines. I don't read tabloids, legitimate (People) or not (Star). And while I readily admit that I enjoyed Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous most of my fascination with the program was Robin Leach's unique voice rather than the famous in the spotlight.

BUT...

I thoroughly enjoy a bible study teacher named Beth Moore. I had the blessing of hearing her in person during a women's bible conference in San Francisco. From everything I have witnessed, she is bright, funny, and very down to earth. I found, somewhat by accident, that she writes a blog along with her two adult daughters. I am tickled. And, for your own edification, I linked to it in my sidebar. She is human, but I would readily sit down for afternoon lunch with this wonderful woman. *grin*

Spanish

One of the many things Christopher and I want to incorporate into our homeschool is foreign language. In today's world culture having a second language is becoming incredibly relevant, and Spanish is an obvious choice for Californians. Because of all this we told the kids some time ago that we were investigating a foreign language program which could teach them (and us) Spanish. The girls were very excited, but Bethany in particular thought this idea really wonderful. I think it had to do with the fact that she would have an "official" curriculum, like her older sister. After much research we settled on Rosetta Stone, Spanish (Latin America). The course is costly, but we found the homeschool edition for Spanish 1, 2, and 3 bundled together while at our homeschool convention earlier this month, and couldn't refuse the price. We bought it, and told the girls that night. They were thrilled! Immediately they wanted to know when we planned to install the program, and allow them to begin learning their new language. We had to explain that we needed to wait until the product actually shipped, but that we would not wait until the beginning of the new school year to begin their lessons. They could both start once we received our package, and loaded the application. Well, some 10 days later our box finally arrived. As is always the case when a little person is waiting expectantly for an event we happened to have out of town guests along with a host of appointments which kept us from immediately installing our Spanish. Each day Bethany inquired if THIS was the day she could start learning her new language, and each day I explained that it just wasn't going to happen until later. In the meantime, she talked often about how much she looked forward to learning Spanish. I think much of her enthusiasm stems from legitimizing a favorite game she plays where she translates phrases of our choice into and out of her own made up language. Like kids that wore a  bended paperclip in school to act like they had a real retainer, Rosetta Stone would give Bethany the real retainer after settling for so long with the paper clip. Her eagerness finally bubbled over a few night ago as she read aloud Psalm 1 in order to work on her reading skills. She struggled through words like "wicked", "chaff", and finally "righteous."

How do you say this, r-i-g-h-t-e-o-u-s?

Let's sound it out.

Rrr - iiii - g.

No, start with this: what does l-i-g-h-t say? You remember we talked about g-h-t in other words. 

Hmmm... it says, (long pause) light?

That's right. So if l-i-g-h-t says light, what does r-i-g-h-t say? 

Ummm... it says, (long pause) right?

Exactly! Good job. Right is the first part of our word. Now what does o-u-s say?

But there is an "e" in it.

Yes, but we are only concerned with the o-u-s right now. (Bethany was beginning to get flustered, and after several verses already pronounced and worked through I could tell she just wanted me to "know". She was tired of learning. She sighed.)

I can tell this would be a lot easier in Spanish.

I've Been Tagged

My girlfriend, Julie, who writes a blog as well (see it over on the sidebar... Watercolor Ponies) tagged me. So now I am "it". I have to share 7 little known facts about myself. Here goes:

#1 I have an obsession with hooks. If I can hang it from a hook, all the better. I have hooks for my bathroom towels, rather than towel bars. I have a whole row of hooks next to the front door for the kids' jackets. I have hooks for pot-holders, aprons, backpacks, towels, and if I could I would have more. Just wait until we own a home, and I can hook to my heart's delight.

#2 I have at least one clock in every room, and none of them are on the same time. My bedside clock needs to be 10 minutes fast so I get up on time (don't follow the logic, there is none); my microwave clock needs to be exactly correct for my husband, but the massive clock on the wall facing the microwave is fast by 2 minutes. And by the way, digital clocks don't count as real.

#3 I am taken by anything miniature. There is nothing like the absolute adorability of something large being shrunken down in size. I have a tiny bottle of dishwashing liquid on my drainboard that presumably serves the purpose of taking up less space than the large jug-o-soap I buy at Costco. The real reason however, is how cute it is in my kitchen. Tiny bottles, little baskets, miniature of any kind is darling to me. 

#4 I don't like taking showers (baths are even worse). I take them because I like to be clean. But if there were a way to manage hygiene without them, I would. The whole ordeal of cutting the time out of my day, washing (especially my hair), and then dealing with the blow dryer is just a headache I would rather forego.

#5 I thoroughly enjoy laundry, but only the washing, drying, and folding part; I can't stand putting it away! What a pleasure it is now that Hannah and Bethany (and sometimes even Caleb and Leah) can do it for me.

#6 My beverage of choice is plain wrap, Safeway brand, unflavored, room temperature,  aluminum canned, seltzer water. I drink roughly 4 a day.

#7 I do not know my multiplication tables past the high 6s by heart. In 3rd grade I was tested every week, for time, and never got the gold star next to my name. I am determined to learn them with Hannah!

So, what about you? What seven things would make me giggle? If you are so inclined I would love to have you comment on this post, and add your own "little known facts". 

Peek A Boo

Peek a boo... I see you.

Under The Water At Lexi's Party

I considered passing by this blog-worthy event because I feared my readership might be weary of Leah-isms. Similar to my own threshold for Knock-Knock jokes, could it be possible that you grow tired of hearing the anecdotes taken from my children's mouths? It is possible - but the fact remains that Odd is not Odd because I have one child who never reinvents my parental platitudes with their own unique bent. No, Odd is what it is because of events like the one I am about to share, and you wouldn't be reading if it weren't so... well, Odd.

As a backdrop for the following statement, you must understand something. Some 16 weeks ago (December 9th, to be exact) my children attended an indoor swim party for a friend's birthday. Leah became so enamored with the event that we have scarcely gone a single evening without her mentioning, "I went under the water at Lexi's party." It has almost replaced the mindless sayings all families use, like, "God bless you," at a sneeze or, "excuse me," when you bump someone. In our house you could simply say, "I went under the water at Lexi's party," and I seriously doubt anyone would even blink. She already knows that she wants a Lexi party for her own birthday (she doesn't separate the party's owner with the event location, and can not simply call it, say, "the pool"). Bearing all this in mind, Leah sat down next to me tonight and calmly explained the following:

I went under the water at Lexi's party (this statement no longer requires any response, being now used as a way to introduce any number of topics, and akin to "hello" in my daughter's vocabulary). I bumped my head on my arm, right here (she points to an imagined wound on her arm, which never came into any contact with her head under the water at Lexi's party or elsewhere). And now my head gave me a blood-scrape. See?

Here, she gave me one of her more fantastical looks, which are making her famous among those who have IRL (in real life) knowledge of my curly-haired imp, and trotted off to pretend obedience to the bedtime ritual.

Yo Cuz, part II

I had the unique pleasure of visiting with yet another Amish cousin last night, David. If you recall, I had the opportunity to visit with David's younger brother Michael just last year in June, so I've been on a bit of a kick getting to see my Amish cousins of late. You see, David is a pilot with Express Jet airlines, and the good Lord brought David through Monterey on one of his flights. I was blessed when I got an email from David last week and he suggested we get together. He had about a 22 hour layover, and it would give us the opportunity to have dinner together, and allow him to meet the family.

Trisha had a meeting at the church, so it was a bit crazy managing all six of the kids and hosting a small-scale dinner party. But, we had an awesome time together, catching up after 18 years of not seeing each other. It was neat to hear how God was working in David's life, and how life is treating he and his family, as well as share what God is doing in our life.

David promises to come visit again as Express Jet allows him Monterey layovers in the future. We're praying he and his wife Kathy and their children Abby and Gavin will have a chance to come and visit in the future as well!

Praise God!

facebook

There is a new phenomenon (or perhaps not quite so new, but I am just now learning about it which makes it new to me) called facebook. It is an online networking community, similar to MySpace (which was totally lost on me), but supposedly designed for an older crowd - in internet years that includes me. So, I joined. It has some pretty fun stuff, like games you can play with your friends, photos you can share, little places where you write messages on other people's profiles. It has the air of maturity, calling things "networks", and "groups" but in essence it is about how many friends you can accrue. I am sadly lacking! For instance, of the ten people who have deigned to be my friend (and one of those is my hubby, and is under obligation to acknowledge me) there are no fewer than a combined total of 862 friends. EIGHT HUNDRED & SIXTY TWO. Read it again. It's a good thing I am so mature, and not easily caught up in popularity wars.

Said very quickly, in the "Announcer of all things Legal" voice:

Go sign up for a facebook account immediately, and flood Trisha's inbox with friend requests so she can be cool, and have lots of people in her "network".

What It Takes

Easter is often thought of as that special day when the whole family puts on their new spring clothes, everyone looks beautiful, and pictures are taken for family and friends to see. It is, in essence, a highly photo-opportunity-rich event. At least that is how it works in the real world. In Odd... things always seem just a bit different. Here is a look at what it took to get this one photo. 

2/21 - win eBay auction for new Easter dresses after grueling hours of searching for, and finding the right ones
3/10 - get dresses in the mail, and try them on to make sure they actually fit
3/20 - ask girlfriend to be prepared to take picture of family when we get to church Sunday morning
3/22 - check dresses to make sure they are clean, pressed, and ready for tomorrow - run out to buy last minute nylons for girls, and slip for Hannah, stop at grocery store to buy fresh salad fixings for Easter dinner - set out everyone's outfit - chat with hubby about the following day
EASTER DAY
7:53am - alarm goes off... hit snooze once
8:01 - up, shower on and getting warm
8:17 - out of shower, baby waking
8:26 - downstairs, semi-dressed, baby changed, now nursing
8:39 - discuss with hubby plan of attack for day, baby still nursing
8:51 - baby still nursing, hubby in shower
8:56 - baby burped, in swing, Leah is awake and already "dressed", start blow drying hair
9:02 - hubby out of shower & waking up rest of kids, hair still drying, curling iron plugged in - Mary insisting on sitting on potty for 7 hours to go potty, Caleb asking 50 million questions, girls wanting to have me make them beautiful immediately
9:07 - hair dry, directing girls (while curling hair) to get their underclothes on, directing hubby on what clothes were picked out for littler people, keeping an eye on Leah
9:10 - curling hair, helping older girls with underclothes, Leah is showing me her new pretty dress
9:14 - curling Bethany's hair, Caleb wants to show me how handsome he is
9:21 - curling Hannah's hair, Mary wants to show me how beautiful she is
9:24 - get Bethany dressed in new Easter dress
9:29 - get Hannah dressed in new Easter dress, list off to hubby what needs to happen with the diaper bag, make adjustments to Hannah's new slip which requires finding two safety pins
9:35 - put make-up on Bethany, and add a "barrel" curl to her hair so it looks how she wants it to look
9:37 - simultaneously work on Bethany's hair and double check that everyone is on track
9:42 - remind Leah that I will put her hair up when I am done with the older girls
9:46 - put make-up on Hannah, clip Bethany's hair out of her eyes
9:51 - throw some make-up on myself
9:53 - put Leah's hair up, check diaper bag
9:55 - load up the van for special Easter brunch at church, drinking homemade chai on the way out the door
10:02 - pull out of driveway, everyone is fed, burped, powdered, cleaned, pressed, combed, perfumed, diapered, and hungry
10:09 - arrive at Bagel Bakery to buy plain bagels so when we get to brunch at church we don't have to worry about there not being food choices for the kids with all their allergies
10:15 - back on the road after changing our order 3 times because they didn't have enough of our first choices to fill our standard order
10:19 - almost to church...
WE FORGOT OUR CAMERA!
10:24 - arrive at church, 30 minutes before service starts and still miss most of the brunch goodies!
10:39 - making small chat with everyone, keeping an eye on all 6 little people running around, making sure dresses stay nice, trying to see if camera in phone will work for a group photo (that's laughable)
11:00 - Resurrection Sunday service starts (It Was Wonderful!)
11:42 - children dismissed for Children's Church and (under pain of death if they soil their clothes) are released from our pew
12:19pm - service dismissed
12:21 - hubby trying to procure a camera from someone to take a picture
12:23 - pick Josiah up from the nursery, check to make sure we have all sippy cups from the 2's and 3's for Leah and Mary
12:29 - hubby finds someone with a camera... but no flash card
12:32 - kids getting hungry we decide we are just going to need to get home and take a picture later when we are at our Aunt's house and who cares if we are in plain clothes... if someone wants a picture of all 8 of us at one time they can take it themselves!
12:37 - loading kids in van, who are breaking down from the constant "go" of the morning (not to mention the constant "go" of the past 3 days with park outings, friends spending the night, birthday parties to attend)
12:41 - finally find the second sippy cup in the church, leave church parking lot with at least 3 kids crying
12:57 - pulling into driveway and get bright idea to have the next door neighbor come over and take our picture really quickly before we put everyone down for naps so they can be sane for an entire afternoon/evening back out of the house
12:59 - next door neighbor taking a nap, but willing to help us out
1:03 - open front door and Leah literally runs upstairs to get in her bed for a nap, Josiah is crying for a nursing, Caleb is upset because we told everyone they were taking a rest before Auntie's and he doesn't think he needs it
1:07 - next door neighbor comes over, show him how to run our camera, set up what might be a good composition, try not to worry about how exhausted everyone is
1:10 - picture taken!
1:13 - bring everyone inside, take off Easter clothes, hang everything up, get everyone in bed, hubby and I change out of our clothes
1:27 - change Josiah, start nursing
1:39 - still nursing, chatting with hubby about the rest of the day, plans to make the salad, needing to get the picture uploaded and on the blog
1:48 - baby done nursing, downloading picture
1:53 - find 2 decent pictures in the ones taken, one looking great of me, one looking great of everyone else
2:06 - working on face swapping the good pic of me into the good pic of everyone else, hubby doing up few dishes
2:35 - hubby outside watering the lawn, still working on face swapping (it was a very unflattering pic of me)
2:51 - finish face swap! Start making salad
3:14 - wake everyone up from their "nap", promise to get back to pic and write post tomorrow, reload diaper bag, change out of pajamas into "nice" play clothes, pile into the van, head out the door for more fun!!!
3/24 - (I won't bore you with the other details of my morning so far, suffice it to say we are busy enough) Write blog to go with picture

And there you have it... what it takes to just "snap" a picture of my family!

The Tale of Two Men

This is Hannah's first creative writing assignment. She is learning about storytelling, and using her imagination to build character development. I copied her text exactly, so you could enjoy all her nuances in vocabulary, and style. The reference she makes to Dubia is better explained here.

The Tale of Two Men.

Once there was two men.Those two men lived close to each other.Their names were: James and Tyler.James was 22, & Tyler was 20. Oh yea, did I tell you that those men were SELFISH! You would think they where very good men, but when they went shopping with their wives, they would act like little kids, only with food, not with toys. One day they secretly left their wives that, by now they wish they never married in the first place, and their kids. They were going to a place called Dubia, that was in the shape of a palm tree!When they were, say...half way there the ship that they were on caught on fire! It was caused by two men...James & Tyler! They were forced to leave, but they got a piece of wood that served as a raft.That night was the worst night they had ever experienced in their life.About a hour later, they heard a voice saying: "grab on to the rope". They could not belive their eyes, it was their wives!They had to answer. "okay". When they got back they all had a feast, and James and Tyler learned never to be selfish again and to love their wives and kids.And they all lived happly ever after.
~ THE END ~

non sequitur

A normal conversation in our household:

Bethany - I made the beds, Mama. Is there anything else I need to do?

Mama - I don't think so, sweetie. Have you finished your other chores?

Bethany - Yep.

Mama - Great. You can go outside.

Caleb - Speaking of, can I have a glass of lemonade?

Wound

Caleb just came in from playing outside, perfectly calm but with his arm stuck out towards me.

Mama, I got this and I need you to take care of it. (He shows me his arm, with a scratch on it.)

Hmm, is it bad?

Uh huh. It has a lot of blood, see?

Well, that looks pretty substantial.

Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna survive.

No?

He shakes his head.

What do you think I can do to fix it?

You probably need to put a band-aid on it. (He sighs, ostensibly from the effort of managing this hugely inconvenient war-wound.)

Alright. You go grab the band-aid box and I will put on one.

It's just so big! This is a Daddy-sized boo-boo. It definitely needs a band-aid.

Hey Caleb, let me take a picture of it.

Oh yeah, good idea Mama. That way you can show everyone how big it is.

That was exactly what I was thinking, son.

Who Owns Your Kids?

Who owns your children? Who has the right to make decisions regarding the welfare of your children? Who really has the best interest of your children in mind (emotionally, physically and spiritually)? I ponder these issues because, well, I have several children who I believe God granted to me and my husband in order to raise a godly offspring for His glory. I also ponder these matters because of a recent court opinion handed down at the end of February stating that home education is not a viable option in my home state of CA, as it does not uphold the state's constitution which declares that a person has a right to, "A general diffusion of knowledge and intelligence being essential to the preservation of the rights and liberties of the people, the Legislature shall encourage by all suitable means the promotion of intellectual, scientific, moral, and agricultural improvement." Don't even get me started... too late.

The first, and I believe fundamental issue that is never going to be adequately dealt with in a secular court of law is the right of ownership. Exactly to whom do children belong? If they belong to themselves then they should have full authority to make decisions regarding their own well-being. Their judgement should be fully accepted for their welfare. But children don't belong to themselves, as is evidenced by the need of management for the most basic of needs. Children can not be trusted to make the best decisions for their welfare when left wholly to their own authority. But what if children belong to the government? If this is the case then the government, both local and national, holds a huge responsibility to train, guide, direct, nurture, and let's not forget love these mini-citizens. But the government can't tuck a small child into bed when he is running a fever. The government doesn't take the time to learn the nuances of each tiny person, and whether they prefer to be rocked or bounced when suffering from indigestion. No, I think the only answer left is that children belong to their parents. But even this is not accurate, and hence my opinion for why we will never get to the bottom of this in a court of law, because children don't even belong to their parents, really. They ultimately belong to God.

My children were given to me by an awesome, all-powerful, sovereign God. The truth of this should strike some good old fashioned fear into the hearts of parents. For example, if you had a boss that trusted you with one of his most prized possessions how would you treat that possession? Chances are you would guard it with your life, making sure to take every measure possible to protect and sustain it. Bingo. Children are that prized possession, and God will take an accounting of my parenting. Parents should not make decisions solely based on what they think is best - they ought to make decisions based on what the Word of God says is true, and the Word of God is not silent on moral, physical, or even intellectual training not to mention spiritual maturation. Humor me while I share a few...

James 1:21 tells us to get rid of all moral filth within us. Parents will be held responsible for training their children in ridding themselves of moral filth, teaching them to be decent, honest, good, and above reproach in all their life's dealings.

Then we read in 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12 that it is good for men to earn their own living! If they don't work, then perhaps they shouldn't eat. Hmm, interesting notion, especially in light of some of our more controversial welfare policies...

When establishing His tabernacle, God gave particular talent to craftsmen in order to accomplish the work (Exodus 31:2-5). Scripture teaches through the workmanship required of the Israelites that God was pleased with specialized talent. While it is the Spirit who gives gifts and talents in all areas, it is usually the work of discerning parents who bring those talents to light. It is certainly their responsibility to begin the process of unearthing the natural bents and dispositions of their children, so that through training and guidance those smallish people might become contributing adults.

Finally in Romans 12:2 the apostle Paul tells us that we must learn to discern God's will, through mental acuity, by testing what we learn with the Word of God. This requires intelligence, and a regular use of your BRAIN! In order to understand more than "Jesus loves me" you must begin to study language, history, geography, math, science, as well as training yourself in the actual art of study itself. Paul often quoted poets and philosophers from within the cultural context of the day, and we do well to understand the moors of our times by studying the prevailing thinkers. God is not afraid of knowledge.

Of course I have grossly oversimplified the parental role, but if I were to list all the items, big and small, that truly go into raising a child this post would never end! Suffice it to say, I find it HIGHLY ironic that our government assumes it can assert a right which it doesn't actually have (abdicating parents have given it to them) in order to force moral, intellectual and physical growth in children with whom it doesn't have a personal relationship. The truth is that in order to sustain, and support our state’s constitution private family sanctity must be upheld. God designed families to particularly equip young men and women for adulthood. Within a family a child learns affection, responsibility, loyalty, diligence, grace, honesty, and integrity by participating in the activities which contribute to the overall well-being of his home. Does this work 100% of the time? Of course not! It would be foolish to use such a standard to measure its success. But that is what happens often times. When regarding institutionalized care, government officials are often lackadaisical about the statistics for 100% success, sighting the curve towards progress rather than real progress itself. But those same officials are often eager to point out one abomination within an individual family as support for aborting familial rights altogether. Even so, you simply cannot deny that individuals raised with caring, conscientious parents in a grounded home grow up to be successful contributing members of society as opposed to their counterparts raised within government run institutions. Most people don’t argue this point. It is one of the reasons we have such a vast network of foster families working to place children into permanent homes. So, if we can recognize that a family is by far the better place for the development of the child in emotional, spiritual, and moral matters, why is it such a shock that intellectual training be superior as well? If you still question this logic call Harvard, and ask them their take on accepting home educated children... their answer might surprise you.

All of this is to say that God gave children to parents, for better or worse, to train them diligently in all aspects of growth so that through that training those children might become strong citizens in their culture, lighting the way for future generations to come to salvation in Jesus Christ.

Lipstick

I went shopping for lipstick yesterday with a girlfriend (not Jill, demon-of-all-things-chai). Lipstick is hard to figure out for me. For instance, do you buy the really bright red, that makes your lips look like you just stepped out of a circa 1940's photo shoot; or do you wear the soft, frosted peach that resembles Barbie? I had to make sure I didn't end up with some Texas Pink, which needs no further description because we have ALL seen this one, and nobody needs to see it on me. And lastly, I really didn't want another neutral that added the idea of lip-color without actually accomplishing the purpose. So there I am, standing at the Macy's counter using swab after swab trying to discover the crystal ball of lipstick-on-the-back-of-the-hand routine when my friend lets out a little sigh.

What?

You sure are taking a long time just to pick out a single lipstick.

Well, I need to make sure I am going to like it. You just automatically know what lipstick you are going to like?

No, but it doesn't take me this long to decide.

How do you choose?

I just grab what I like.

But what if what you like ends up not being what you like when you get it home? I mean, if I am going to spend this much money on a tube of lipstick I want to make sure that I really like it.

So you are shopping for a year-round look?

Yes! You think I want to go through this much agony multiple times a year??? Well... how do you figure out what shade you like so quickly.

I don't know. I just get what strikes me.

She then proceeds to pull out of her purse at least 5 tubes of color in all differing brands and shades. Cheater! I guiltlessly went back to scrutinizing between "Lustrous" and "Pink Spice." In the end "Pink Spice" by Clinique won the day, with a hint of frost, enough pink to show, but neutral enough to be worn all year. Now I just have to get in the habit of actually putting it on instead of Blistex.

I'm Sorry

Let me just start by saying that if you haven't already figured out that Leah is "special" you need to read all the blogs labelled Leah on the sidebar. Go now - this post will still be here when you are finished.

For the rest of you...

Leah tends to run off, without permission. She especially likes this behavior at church, where our spiritual discernment in training her righteously might be seen at its fullest. In fact, Wednesday nights during our church's AWANA program is a particular favorite of hers. It is always very humbling to have YOUR child be the one lost from the group where both you and your husband are bona fide leaders!

Well, tonight was no different, and as soon as Cubbies were dismissed Leah was missing. She pulled this stunt more than once, and earned the promised reward of a spanking when she got home. Daddy made good on his promise, and during their reconciliation time she repented for having run away, specifically for running into the parking lot without an adult. She knows this is a huge no-no because of possible traffic. This is exactly what she said:

Please forgive me Daddy for running away. I'm sorry I got hit by a car.

Maybe this explains everything else.

Words Only

I think I might have a problem. You see I am beginning to see life in terms of blog posts. And I am kicking myself for opportunities lost! For instance, I just spent the better part of the past week and a half redecorating my kitchen, based on a new KitchenAid mixer in RED. And then I worked to transfer my whole office from a desk and file cabinet in a room to a hutch in my living room. Josiah now occupies the space in my office. But in both these instances I have NO BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOS!! What was I thinking? You can't see how I used the top of my horizontal file cabinet as a changing table, or how the top two drawers were emptied and now are used as dresser drawers for Josiah's clothes. You can't appreciate the transformation from catch-me-all hutch to stunning office, which I completed by purchasing a 2" wood-boring drill bit to make precisely cut cord openings in the back of the hutch so that when the doors of the hutch are closed there are no unsightly cords hanging about. Oh what I wouldn't give to have had the presence of mind to snap off a few "process" pics of the transition from cradle to crib for Josiah. Alas, I have nothing to show for all my work, and hence nothing but words to give you in this post. At least you may know that I have not forgotten to blog. And if you are in the neighborhood you can stop by and see my new red kitchen, office hutch, and nursery.

Baby Doll or Baby Brother

Caleb was holding Josiah for me while I finished up a few things in preparation of nursing the baby. My little helper decided he had "helped" enough, and was trying to figure out a way to pick Josiah up and carry him to his swing. As Caleb began to rock forward I noticed his hold on Josiah turn precarious, and told him he wasn't strong enough to pick him up from a sitting position.

He isn't a doll, Caleb. You can't just try and pick him up like that. He is a whole little person, and if you dropped him he could be very hurt.

Yeah, and we're tryin' to keep him alive.

Pretty much.