I really like having things established, fixed, predictable, standardized. When I make a plan I want it to stay put. I don't want it to move, shift, or change. Spontaneity is great, when it is planned. Last minute ideas are marvelous, when they fit into my pre-established schedule. I am flexible, when it doesn't make me bend.
God is working on showing me the need to stay a little more open to change.
I was under the impression that my cesarean date would be sometime during the week of April 20-24th. I wasn't sure exactly when, but several conversations with my OB, as well as my understanding of my gestation all pointed to this timeframe. I even told my mother in law that she could purchase tickets based on this window. Then, at an appointment just a few weeks ago things were turned upside down when my obstetrician said that she thought waiting until the 27th was a better option. After looking more closely at my chart, my typical gestation, and the need for me to avoid labor it became apparent that letting baby bake until the beginning of the next week would be best. I called Christopher, he called his mom, who in turn called the airport to shift her tickets. I called my childcare providers, made new plans for care starting on Monday, adjusted my schedule for another week of commitments, appointments, and to-dos.
Things were set.
Or so I thought.
My spreadsheet was finalized, friends had taken off work, we had all begun to trust the "planned" cesarean date. After all, if you have to know the date of your baby's birth you may as well take advantage of it... until the rug is pulled out from under you. I received the first phone call yesterday afternoon that the charge nurse from the hospital I was scheduled for delivery with had called to say she was uncomfortable with the pain management technique I was choosing. My OB and I had worked so hard for this opportunity. I was disappointed, to say the least. One of my biggest goals for this delivery is to be free from intravenous narcotics. But even more important than that is the freedom to bond with my baby during those initial moments after birth. After discussing the options with my OB we both believed it would be best to change hospitals. After all, I had 3 days before my cesarean.
After several more phone calls back and forth between my doctor, the new hospital, its staff, and me again we were confirmed for delivery, but as an added bonus the date for the cesarean would need to change. Of course. Now, rather than delivering on Monday at noon I am set for Tuesday at 8am.
I am now in the middle of changing all those established plans - again. Time off work, childcare options, and final preparations have all been revised. My spreadsheet needs to be completely reconfigured. But, I am working to embrace the freedom that comes from accepting change. Apparently God is trying to teach me that it is inevitable. *wink*