Injustices

I am fairly level-headed. I recognize that things which you cleaned yesterday may very well get dirty again today. I especially recognize this as my family grows. Leah, in particular, has the gift of throwing all clothing, clean and soiled, into the clothes hamper. I rewash hordes of clothes for the simple fact that after sitting at the bottom of the hamper for 4 days they now smell like their genuinely dirty counterparts. I clean the bathroom, ideally daily, but realistically every third day; and just as soon as I clean it my son goes in to use it. Need I say more? I change sheets, only to have a baby explode out of a diaper that very afternoon. I wash dishes so that we might use them at breakfast, lunch and dinner. I vacuum because lint, and outside debris carried in on my perfect children's perfectly wiped feet, prefer clean floors. I dust so I can see where the new dust falls. In total, I am involved in a very intricate dance that has no ending, but occasionally bears the allusion of conclusion. This, I can handle. What I can not handle are the injustices which pile on top of the never-ending cycle o' cleaning.

Vacuuming the vacuum.

Defrosting the freezer.

Washing the washing machine.

The last one really gets me, and it got me specifically yesterday. I noticed that I had a ring around the top of my inner tub. Then I saw that there was grime on the agitator. What!? How can this be? I don't spill detergent and leave it. I keep the dust off the back, wiping down the top and inside of the lid fairly regularly. But somehow I was faced with a dirty washing machine. I grabbed the vinegar, a brush, an old rag, a toothbrush, a cup and got to work. I scrubbed the tub, agitator, bleach dispenser, fabric softener insert, water spigot, top, bottom, and on and on and on. When I was done I started to feel a sense of accomplishment. My washing machine was clean. I could put my clothes in it with confidence... but wait!

The clothes were dirty. They were only going to make the machine gross all over again. Added to this was the fact that no one could tell that my machine was now a glowing representation of godliness because nothing looked different on the outside! Injustice! So in retaliation I am spending today thinking about how I can market a self-cleaning machine and the millions it will make me.

The Tale of Two Languages

Bethany made up the following joke all by herself. I merely acted as recorder, and wrote exactly what she dictated. I hope you enjoy!

There was a man who walked into town and didn't know the language. He went to his hotel room, and he looked out one of his windows, and he saw some kids playing in the pool, and he heard one of them say, "How about I go to the bottom?"

Then he looked out his other window, he saw some kids go into a restaurant and saying, "I can't wait."

He heard a knock on a door and someone saying, "Hello, your food is ready!"

He then heard another knock on a door, and a person answering, "Yes?"

Then he went around town to explore. He stopped by some people who asked him, "Did you knock our car? If you did go to the top of the highest mountain."

He said, "How about I go to the bottom?"

Then they said, "Well.."

And he replied, "I can't wait." Then he said to the people, who were next to a restaurant, "Hello, your foods ready!"

And they said, "Really?!"

And he said, "Yes!"

Laugh or Cry

There is an expression that says, "If you don't laugh, you'll cry." I am sure everyone has a moment when they realize the truth of that saying. My week was one such revelation.

My children are wonderful! They are well behaved, useful, enjoyable little people who give so much joy to me each day. I would never trade being at home raising them, even for the best salary/fringe benefits/total package "career" job you could find. I look at my life and wonder, "wow - how did I get away with this?" I watch each day as my little son grows cuter and cuter. I see almost all of the idiosyncrasies in my girls take form, and develop. I don't miss a single career change that Caleb makes (he informed me yesterday he wants to be a horse trainer). Sure, there are hard times. Sure, there are days I wish I could "take a break", send my kids off on a school bus and come back into a quiet, CLEAN home. I am human, and so are my children. But overall, I don't think either of us would really want to be separated from one another for the entire day, only getting the chance to connect in the evenings and weekends. I am jealous over my children's time, and I want to be there to discover life with them - not hear about it from someone else.

However...

This last week went terribly awry, and while I may have days here and there, I can honestly say I had the worst week parenting - ever. This is no hyperbole. If I said right, then all went left. If I said stop, they kept going. They deliberately defied me. They exacerbated escalating conflicts which did not immediately concern them. They irritated one another to no end. Even Josiah struggled with an inordinate amount of fussing. I was brought to tears, along with Christopher, as day after day we poured ourselves out thinking, "how much longer can this last, God?" And then, just as mysteriously as it started, it stopped. Suddenly Caleb and Leah joyfully played together, respecting each other's space and genuinely working to cooperate. Bethany and Hannah followed through on responsibilities. Mary began using her words to communicate instead of simply screaming. And yes, even Josiah woke up with a huge smile which did not leave his face all morning. My children were home.

But I learned something in the midst of it. While perspective in life is vital, invalidating the reality of difficulty in another person's life is a shallow form self-aggrandizement. Perspective says, "my children are generally very well behaved, and even within this time of trial I am thankful that I only face relatively minor insurrections." Perspective reminds me to not exaggerate for the sake of inspiring pity in others. Perspective gently whispers that I still have so much to be thankful for in my life, and the lives of my children. Job inspires perspective. Invalidation seeks to undermine the reality of my difficulties by replacing them with someone else's version of my circumstances - a version that understates my cross to bear by pointing out the size of their own. Invalidation screams, "you can't say you are struggling because this is nothing compared to what I have dealt with!" Invalidation overwhelms with impotence by denying the trial, and trying to create guilt that you would even think your difficulty bears authenticity. It seeks to raise one above the other through incompatible comparison.

I was faced with both perspective, and invalidation over the course of my week. I had one woman share with me, through a gentle and quiet spirit, an encouraging word about how much she appreciates my children even in the midst of my exasperation. She pointed out how loving they are toward her child (who has some special needs), and how their manners speak of a solid foundation in quality character. It reminded me that I am dealing with a puddle of testing, not a sea of disappointments, and I was encouraged (I shared this with the children, to encourage them). The other interaction was a woman who overheard me share my current state of distress, and immediately pounced to admonish that, "at least you have your children home, and have the power to make them do what is right." She went on to say, without asking any questions about my current situation, that I should be thankful that my children are still young and can be responsive to correction. She would not complain, if she were me (mind you, I was asked by a close friend in a group setting how I was doing and it was through my reply that this woman opened fire) because I had no idea how much she would give to have her children back at home where she could control their waywardness. I felt bruised, and lonely after she finished. The only thing that loomed in my sight was the thought that unless my children were pursuing heinous sin I had no business feeling overwhelmed with my conviction to proactively parent.

I think I struggle with mixing the two. I think many people struggle. In our human nature we want attention, whether for the good we accomplish or the bad we survive. Our culture tends to place an inordinate amount of attention on the spectacular, so that we become desensitized to the reality of difficulty in other's lives, and focus wholly on our own right to receive consolation. By invalidating a trying circumstance for someone else we effectively demerit their right to experience what God has seen fit to use for their sanctification.

 

I hope this past week has taught me how to use perspective in future difficulties. I want to utilize the gift that often allows me to laugh, when I know I have reason to cry.

(Mary went to bed for "nap" in her crib, with the tent. This is what we found when we went to wake her.)

Bethany's Debut

Bethany came to us with this beautiful ballad, introducing it as her debut. We are thrilled to give you a front row-center rendition of "Bethany's Song". Enjoy.

Letter of the Law

Recently, my family and I sojourned in Circuit City. We used the guise of searching out computer printers as a cover for our real mission, which was to be the point-and-stare show for everyone shopping. In these situations, more than almost any other, do I feel the pressure to "perform". I want my children to sparkle, amaze, shine, bless, and even - dare I admit it - shut down all the nay-sayers. I used to be good at this job. When Leah was still small enough to be housed in our arsenal of a stroller I could glibly walk the aisles of department stores knowing that the looks I received were ones of admiration (how does she do it?), respect (look at how well they all behave), and envy (I wish my kids would act like that). Let me tell you something, from experience, humbling always comes... it just depends on how far down you need to go. Eventually we had to release Leah.

This brings me back to Circuit City, and the looks of terror we received as all eight of us clamored into an electronics store filled with highly expensive big-people toys. Needless to say I think everyone in the building knew Leah's name by the time we picked out our printer (which is beautiful). Leah follows the spirit of the law, which translated means she doesn't listen. I can say, "Leah, stay right here" and she hears, "Leah, don't leave the greater Monterey Peninsula." When I blurt, "Leah, stop crawling on the floor!" she registers,  "Sweetie, you are so cute as a puppy." Spirited is the polite description for my fourth born.

We finally made it through the checkout, (paying for only the printer!) and out of the building. We stopped at the curb so I could issue the following decree before heading to our van across the street in the parking lot:

Every single one of you must be holding either a hand, shopping cart, or stroller. No one is allowed to step off the curb without holding a hand, stroller, or cart. Period.

I thought I made myself very clear. Leah decided to follow the letter of the law, for once.

Okay Mama, I'm ready.

The Gratitude Campaign

I received this from my mom, and thought it was wonderful. Check it out!

The Gratitude Campaign

Fan

I am not a big "giver of awe" to celebrities. I think the combination of working in a family business that occasionally served the Hollywood elite, recognizing their right to privacy and enjoyable family outings coupled with my own unwillingness to see them as anything more than human has kept me from becoming smitten with any one personality. Mind you, I enjoy several actors in their profession, novelists, teachers, etc. but I have never spent idle minutes (dare I say hours for some) pining at the possibility of becoming personal friends, or intimates with them. I don't search out their private lives in magazines. I don't read tabloids, legitimate (People) or not (Star). And while I readily admit that I enjoyed Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous most of my fascination with the program was Robin Leach's unique voice rather than the famous in the spotlight.

BUT...

I thoroughly enjoy a bible study teacher named Beth Moore. I had the blessing of hearing her in person during a women's bible conference in San Francisco. From everything I have witnessed, she is bright, funny, and very down to earth. I found, somewhat by accident, that she writes a blog along with her two adult daughters. I am tickled. And, for your own edification, I linked to it in my sidebar. She is human, but I would readily sit down for afternoon lunch with this wonderful woman. *grin*

Spanish

One of the many things Christopher and I want to incorporate into our homeschool is foreign language. In today's world culture having a second language is becoming incredibly relevant, and Spanish is an obvious choice for Californians. Because of all this we told the kids some time ago that we were investigating a foreign language program which could teach them (and us) Spanish. The girls were very excited, but Bethany in particular thought this idea really wonderful. I think it had to do with the fact that she would have an "official" curriculum, like her older sister. After much research we settled on Rosetta Stone, Spanish (Latin America). The course is costly, but we found the homeschool edition for Spanish 1, 2, and 3 bundled together while at our homeschool convention earlier this month, and couldn't refuse the price. We bought it, and told the girls that night. They were thrilled! Immediately they wanted to know when we planned to install the program, and allow them to begin learning their new language. We had to explain that we needed to wait until the product actually shipped, but that we would not wait until the beginning of the new school year to begin their lessons. They could both start once we received our package, and loaded the application. Well, some 10 days later our box finally arrived. As is always the case when a little person is waiting expectantly for an event we happened to have out of town guests along with a host of appointments which kept us from immediately installing our Spanish. Each day Bethany inquired if THIS was the day she could start learning her new language, and each day I explained that it just wasn't going to happen until later. In the meantime, she talked often about how much she looked forward to learning Spanish. I think much of her enthusiasm stems from legitimizing a favorite game she plays where she translates phrases of our choice into and out of her own made up language. Like kids that wore a  bended paperclip in school to act like they had a real retainer, Rosetta Stone would give Bethany the real retainer after settling for so long with the paper clip. Her eagerness finally bubbled over a few night ago as she read aloud Psalm 1 in order to work on her reading skills. She struggled through words like "wicked", "chaff", and finally "righteous."

How do you say this, r-i-g-h-t-e-o-u-s?

Let's sound it out.

Rrr - iiii - g.

No, start with this: what does l-i-g-h-t say? You remember we talked about g-h-t in other words. 

Hmmm... it says, (long pause) light?

That's right. So if l-i-g-h-t says light, what does r-i-g-h-t say? 

Ummm... it says, (long pause) right?

Exactly! Good job. Right is the first part of our word. Now what does o-u-s say?

But there is an "e" in it.

Yes, but we are only concerned with the o-u-s right now. (Bethany was beginning to get flustered, and after several verses already pronounced and worked through I could tell she just wanted me to "know". She was tired of learning. She sighed.)

I can tell this would be a lot easier in Spanish.

I've Been Tagged

My girlfriend, Julie, who writes a blog as well (see it over on the sidebar... Watercolor Ponies) tagged me. So now I am "it". I have to share 7 little known facts about myself. Here goes:

#1 I have an obsession with hooks. If I can hang it from a hook, all the better. I have hooks for my bathroom towels, rather than towel bars. I have a whole row of hooks next to the front door for the kids' jackets. I have hooks for pot-holders, aprons, backpacks, towels, and if I could I would have more. Just wait until we own a home, and I can hook to my heart's delight.

#2 I have at least one clock in every room, and none of them are on the same time. My bedside clock needs to be 10 minutes fast so I get up on time (don't follow the logic, there is none); my microwave clock needs to be exactly correct for my husband, but the massive clock on the wall facing the microwave is fast by 2 minutes. And by the way, digital clocks don't count as real.

#3 I am taken by anything miniature. There is nothing like the absolute adorability of something large being shrunken down in size. I have a tiny bottle of dishwashing liquid on my drainboard that presumably serves the purpose of taking up less space than the large jug-o-soap I buy at Costco. The real reason however, is how cute it is in my kitchen. Tiny bottles, little baskets, miniature of any kind is darling to me. 

#4 I don't like taking showers (baths are even worse). I take them because I like to be clean. But if there were a way to manage hygiene without them, I would. The whole ordeal of cutting the time out of my day, washing (especially my hair), and then dealing with the blow dryer is just a headache I would rather forego.

#5 I thoroughly enjoy laundry, but only the washing, drying, and folding part; I can't stand putting it away! What a pleasure it is now that Hannah and Bethany (and sometimes even Caleb and Leah) can do it for me.

#6 My beverage of choice is plain wrap, Safeway brand, unflavored, room temperature,  aluminum canned, seltzer water. I drink roughly 4 a day.

#7 I do not know my multiplication tables past the high 6s by heart. In 3rd grade I was tested every week, for time, and never got the gold star next to my name. I am determined to learn them with Hannah!

So, what about you? What seven things would make me giggle? If you are so inclined I would love to have you comment on this post, and add your own "little known facts". 

Peek A Boo

Peek a boo... I see you.

Under The Water At Lexi's Party

I considered passing by this blog-worthy event because I feared my readership might be weary of Leah-isms. Similar to my own threshold for Knock-Knock jokes, could it be possible that you grow tired of hearing the anecdotes taken from my children's mouths? It is possible - but the fact remains that Odd is not Odd because I have one child who never reinvents my parental platitudes with their own unique bent. No, Odd is what it is because of events like the one I am about to share, and you wouldn't be reading if it weren't so... well, Odd.

As a backdrop for the following statement, you must understand something. Some 16 weeks ago (December 9th, to be exact) my children attended an indoor swim party for a friend's birthday. Leah became so enamored with the event that we have scarcely gone a single evening without her mentioning, "I went under the water at Lexi's party." It has almost replaced the mindless sayings all families use, like, "God bless you," at a sneeze or, "excuse me," when you bump someone. In our house you could simply say, "I went under the water at Lexi's party," and I seriously doubt anyone would even blink. She already knows that she wants a Lexi party for her own birthday (she doesn't separate the party's owner with the event location, and can not simply call it, say, "the pool"). Bearing all this in mind, Leah sat down next to me tonight and calmly explained the following:

I went under the water at Lexi's party (this statement no longer requires any response, being now used as a way to introduce any number of topics, and akin to "hello" in my daughter's vocabulary). I bumped my head on my arm, right here (she points to an imagined wound on her arm, which never came into any contact with her head under the water at Lexi's party or elsewhere). And now my head gave me a blood-scrape. See?

Here, she gave me one of her more fantastical looks, which are making her famous among those who have IRL (in real life) knowledge of my curly-haired imp, and trotted off to pretend obedience to the bedtime ritual.

Yo Cuz, part II

I had the unique pleasure of visiting with yet another Amish cousin last night, David. If you recall, I had the opportunity to visit with David's younger brother Michael just last year in June, so I've been on a bit of a kick getting to see my Amish cousins of late. You see, David is a pilot with Express Jet airlines, and the good Lord brought David through Monterey on one of his flights. I was blessed when I got an email from David last week and he suggested we get together. He had about a 22 hour layover, and it would give us the opportunity to have dinner together, and allow him to meet the family.

Trisha had a meeting at the church, so it was a bit crazy managing all six of the kids and hosting a small-scale dinner party. But, we had an awesome time together, catching up after 18 years of not seeing each other. It was neat to hear how God was working in David's life, and how life is treating he and his family, as well as share what God is doing in our life.

David promises to come visit again as Express Jet allows him Monterey layovers in the future. We're praying he and his wife Kathy and their children Abby and Gavin will have a chance to come and visit in the future as well!

Praise God!

facebook

There is a new phenomenon (or perhaps not quite so new, but I am just now learning about it which makes it new to me) called facebook. It is an online networking community, similar to MySpace (which was totally lost on me), but supposedly designed for an older crowd - in internet years that includes me. So, I joined. It has some pretty fun stuff, like games you can play with your friends, photos you can share, little places where you write messages on other people's profiles. It has the air of maturity, calling things "networks", and "groups" but in essence it is about how many friends you can accrue. I am sadly lacking! For instance, of the ten people who have deigned to be my friend (and one of those is my hubby, and is under obligation to acknowledge me) there are no fewer than a combined total of 862 friends. EIGHT HUNDRED & SIXTY TWO. Read it again. It's a good thing I am so mature, and not easily caught up in popularity wars.

Said very quickly, in the "Announcer of all things Legal" voice:

Go sign up for a facebook account immediately, and flood Trisha's inbox with friend requests so she can be cool, and have lots of people in her "network".

What It Takes

Easter is often thought of as that special day when the whole family puts on their new spring clothes, everyone looks beautiful, and pictures are taken for family and friends to see. It is, in essence, a highly photo-opportunity-rich event. At least that is how it works in the real world. In Odd... things always seem just a bit different. Here is a look at what it took to get this one photo. 

2/21 - win eBay auction for new Easter dresses after grueling hours of searching for, and finding the right ones
3/10 - get dresses in the mail, and try them on to make sure they actually fit
3/20 - ask girlfriend to be prepared to take picture of family when we get to church Sunday morning
3/22 - check dresses to make sure they are clean, pressed, and ready for tomorrow - run out to buy last minute nylons for girls, and slip for Hannah, stop at grocery store to buy fresh salad fixings for Easter dinner - set out everyone's outfit - chat with hubby about the following day
EASTER DAY
7:53am - alarm goes off... hit snooze once
8:01 - up, shower on and getting warm
8:17 - out of shower, baby waking
8:26 - downstairs, semi-dressed, baby changed, now nursing
8:39 - discuss with hubby plan of attack for day, baby still nursing
8:51 - baby still nursing, hubby in shower
8:56 - baby burped, in swing, Leah is awake and already "dressed", start blow drying hair
9:02 - hubby out of shower & waking up rest of kids, hair still drying, curling iron plugged in - Mary insisting on sitting on potty for 7 hours to go potty, Caleb asking 50 million questions, girls wanting to have me make them beautiful immediately
9:07 - hair dry, directing girls (while curling hair) to get their underclothes on, directing hubby on what clothes were picked out for littler people, keeping an eye on Leah
9:10 - curling hair, helping older girls with underclothes, Leah is showing me her new pretty dress
9:14 - curling Bethany's hair, Caleb wants to show me how handsome he is
9:21 - curling Hannah's hair, Mary wants to show me how beautiful she is
9:24 - get Bethany dressed in new Easter dress
9:29 - get Hannah dressed in new Easter dress, list off to hubby what needs to happen with the diaper bag, make adjustments to Hannah's new slip which requires finding two safety pins
9:35 - put make-up on Bethany, and add a "barrel" curl to her hair so it looks how she wants it to look
9:37 - simultaneously work on Bethany's hair and double check that everyone is on track
9:42 - remind Leah that I will put her hair up when I am done with the older girls
9:46 - put make-up on Hannah, clip Bethany's hair out of her eyes
9:51 - throw some make-up on myself
9:53 - put Leah's hair up, check diaper bag
9:55 - load up the van for special Easter brunch at church, drinking homemade chai on the way out the door
10:02 - pull out of driveway, everyone is fed, burped, powdered, cleaned, pressed, combed, perfumed, diapered, and hungry
10:09 - arrive at Bagel Bakery to buy plain bagels so when we get to brunch at church we don't have to worry about there not being food choices for the kids with all their allergies
10:15 - back on the road after changing our order 3 times because they didn't have enough of our first choices to fill our standard order
10:19 - almost to church...
WE FORGOT OUR CAMERA!
10:24 - arrive at church, 30 minutes before service starts and still miss most of the brunch goodies!
10:39 - making small chat with everyone, keeping an eye on all 6 little people running around, making sure dresses stay nice, trying to see if camera in phone will work for a group photo (that's laughable)
11:00 - Resurrection Sunday service starts (It Was Wonderful!)
11:42 - children dismissed for Children's Church and (under pain of death if they soil their clothes) are released from our pew
12:19pm - service dismissed
12:21 - hubby trying to procure a camera from someone to take a picture
12:23 - pick Josiah up from the nursery, check to make sure we have all sippy cups from the 2's and 3's for Leah and Mary
12:29 - hubby finds someone with a camera... but no flash card
12:32 - kids getting hungry we decide we are just going to need to get home and take a picture later when we are at our Aunt's house and who cares if we are in plain clothes... if someone wants a picture of all 8 of us at one time they can take it themselves!
12:37 - loading kids in van, who are breaking down from the constant "go" of the morning (not to mention the constant "go" of the past 3 days with park outings, friends spending the night, birthday parties to attend)
12:41 - finally find the second sippy cup in the church, leave church parking lot with at least 3 kids crying
12:57 - pulling into driveway and get bright idea to have the next door neighbor come over and take our picture really quickly before we put everyone down for naps so they can be sane for an entire afternoon/evening back out of the house
12:59 - next door neighbor taking a nap, but willing to help us out
1:03 - open front door and Leah literally runs upstairs to get in her bed for a nap, Josiah is crying for a nursing, Caleb is upset because we told everyone they were taking a rest before Auntie's and he doesn't think he needs it
1:07 - next door neighbor comes over, show him how to run our camera, set up what might be a good composition, try not to worry about how exhausted everyone is
1:10 - picture taken!
1:13 - bring everyone inside, take off Easter clothes, hang everything up, get everyone in bed, hubby and I change out of our clothes
1:27 - change Josiah, start nursing
1:39 - still nursing, chatting with hubby about the rest of the day, plans to make the salad, needing to get the picture uploaded and on the blog
1:48 - baby done nursing, downloading picture
1:53 - find 2 decent pictures in the ones taken, one looking great of me, one looking great of everyone else
2:06 - working on face swapping the good pic of me into the good pic of everyone else, hubby doing up few dishes
2:35 - hubby outside watering the lawn, still working on face swapping (it was a very unflattering pic of me)
2:51 - finish face swap! Start making salad
3:14 - wake everyone up from their "nap", promise to get back to pic and write post tomorrow, reload diaper bag, change out of pajamas into "nice" play clothes, pile into the van, head out the door for more fun!!!
3/24 - (I won't bore you with the other details of my morning so far, suffice it to say we are busy enough) Write blog to go with picture

And there you have it... what it takes to just "snap" a picture of my family!

The Tale of Two Men

This is Hannah's first creative writing assignment. She is learning about storytelling, and using her imagination to build character development. I copied her text exactly, so you could enjoy all her nuances in vocabulary, and style. The reference she makes to Dubia is better explained here.

The Tale of Two Men.

Once there was two men.Those two men lived close to each other.Their names were: James and Tyler.James was 22, & Tyler was 20. Oh yea, did I tell you that those men were SELFISH! You would think they where very good men, but when they went shopping with their wives, they would act like little kids, only with food, not with toys. One day they secretly left their wives that, by now they wish they never married in the first place, and their kids. They were going to a place called Dubia, that was in the shape of a palm tree!When they were, say...half way there the ship that they were on caught on fire! It was caused by two men...James & Tyler! They were forced to leave, but they got a piece of wood that served as a raft.That night was the worst night they had ever experienced in their life.About a hour later, they heard a voice saying: "grab on to the rope". They could not belive their eyes, it was their wives!They had to answer. "okay". When they got back they all had a feast, and James and Tyler learned never to be selfish again and to love their wives and kids.And they all lived happly ever after.
~ THE END ~

non sequitur

A normal conversation in our household:

Bethany - I made the beds, Mama. Is there anything else I need to do?

Mama - I don't think so, sweetie. Have you finished your other chores?

Bethany - Yep.

Mama - Great. You can go outside.

Caleb - Speaking of, can I have a glass of lemonade?

Wound

Caleb just came in from playing outside, perfectly calm but with his arm stuck out towards me.

Mama, I got this and I need you to take care of it. (He shows me his arm, with a scratch on it.)

Hmm, is it bad?

Uh huh. It has a lot of blood, see?

Well, that looks pretty substantial.

Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna survive.

No?

He shakes his head.

What do you think I can do to fix it?

You probably need to put a band-aid on it. (He sighs, ostensibly from the effort of managing this hugely inconvenient war-wound.)

Alright. You go grab the band-aid box and I will put on one.

It's just so big! This is a Daddy-sized boo-boo. It definitely needs a band-aid.

Hey Caleb, let me take a picture of it.

Oh yeah, good idea Mama. That way you can show everyone how big it is.

That was exactly what I was thinking, son.

Who Owns Your Kids?

Who owns your children? Who has the right to make decisions regarding the welfare of your children? Who really has the best interest of your children in mind (emotionally, physically and spiritually)? I ponder these issues because, well, I have several children who I believe God granted to me and my husband in order to raise a godly offspring for His glory. I also ponder these matters because of a recent court opinion handed down at the end of February stating that home education is not a viable option in my home state of CA, as it does not uphold the state's constitution which declares that a person has a right to, "A general diffusion of knowledge and intelligence being essential to the preservation of the rights and liberties of the people, the Legislature shall encourage by all suitable means the promotion of intellectual, scientific, moral, and agricultural improvement." Don't even get me started... too late.

The first, and I believe fundamental issue that is never going to be adequately dealt with in a secular court of law is the right of ownership. Exactly to whom do children belong? If they belong to themselves then they should have full authority to make decisions regarding their own well-being. Their judgement should be fully accepted for their welfare. But children don't belong to themselves, as is evidenced by the need of management for the most basic of needs. Children can not be trusted to make the best decisions for their welfare when left wholly to their own authority. But what if children belong to the government? If this is the case then the government, both local and national, holds a huge responsibility to train, guide, direct, nurture, and let's not forget love these mini-citizens. But the government can't tuck a small child into bed when he is running a fever. The government doesn't take the time to learn the nuances of each tiny person, and whether they prefer to be rocked or bounced when suffering from indigestion. No, I think the only answer left is that children belong to their parents. But even this is not accurate, and hence my opinion for why we will never get to the bottom of this in a court of law, because children don't even belong to their parents, really. They ultimately belong to God.

My children were given to me by an awesome, all-powerful, sovereign God. The truth of this should strike some good old fashioned fear into the hearts of parents. For example, if you had a boss that trusted you with one of his most prized possessions how would you treat that possession? Chances are you would guard it with your life, making sure to take every measure possible to protect and sustain it. Bingo. Children are that prized possession, and God will take an accounting of my parenting. Parents should not make decisions solely based on what they think is best - they ought to make decisions based on what the Word of God says is true, and the Word of God is not silent on moral, physical, or even intellectual training not to mention spiritual maturation. Humor me while I share a few...

James 1:21 tells us to get rid of all moral filth within us. Parents will be held responsible for training their children in ridding themselves of moral filth, teaching them to be decent, honest, good, and above reproach in all their life's dealings.

Then we read in 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12 that it is good for men to earn their own living! If they don't work, then perhaps they shouldn't eat. Hmm, interesting notion, especially in light of some of our more controversial welfare policies...

When establishing His tabernacle, God gave particular talent to craftsmen in order to accomplish the work (Exodus 31:2-5). Scripture teaches through the workmanship required of the Israelites that God was pleased with specialized talent. While it is the Spirit who gives gifts and talents in all areas, it is usually the work of discerning parents who bring those talents to light. It is certainly their responsibility to begin the process of unearthing the natural bents and dispositions of their children, so that through training and guidance those smallish people might become contributing adults.

Finally in Romans 12:2 the apostle Paul tells us that we must learn to discern God's will, through mental acuity, by testing what we learn with the Word of God. This requires intelligence, and a regular use of your BRAIN! In order to understand more than "Jesus loves me" you must begin to study language, history, geography, math, science, as well as training yourself in the actual art of study itself. Paul often quoted poets and philosophers from within the cultural context of the day, and we do well to understand the moors of our times by studying the prevailing thinkers. God is not afraid of knowledge.

Of course I have grossly oversimplified the parental role, but if I were to list all the items, big and small, that truly go into raising a child this post would never end! Suffice it to say, I find it HIGHLY ironic that our government assumes it can assert a right which it doesn't actually have (abdicating parents have given it to them) in order to force moral, intellectual and physical growth in children with whom it doesn't have a personal relationship. The truth is that in order to sustain, and support our state’s constitution private family sanctity must be upheld. God designed families to particularly equip young men and women for adulthood. Within a family a child learns affection, responsibility, loyalty, diligence, grace, honesty, and integrity by participating in the activities which contribute to the overall well-being of his home. Does this work 100% of the time? Of course not! It would be foolish to use such a standard to measure its success. But that is what happens often times. When regarding institutionalized care, government officials are often lackadaisical about the statistics for 100% success, sighting the curve towards progress rather than real progress itself. But those same officials are often eager to point out one abomination within an individual family as support for aborting familial rights altogether. Even so, you simply cannot deny that individuals raised with caring, conscientious parents in a grounded home grow up to be successful contributing members of society as opposed to their counterparts raised within government run institutions. Most people don’t argue this point. It is one of the reasons we have such a vast network of foster families working to place children into permanent homes. So, if we can recognize that a family is by far the better place for the development of the child in emotional, spiritual, and moral matters, why is it such a shock that intellectual training be superior as well? If you still question this logic call Harvard, and ask them their take on accepting home educated children... their answer might surprise you.

All of this is to say that God gave children to parents, for better or worse, to train them diligently in all aspects of growth so that through that training those children might become strong citizens in their culture, lighting the way for future generations to come to salvation in Jesus Christ.

Lipstick

I went shopping for lipstick yesterday with a girlfriend (not Jill, demon-of-all-things-chai). Lipstick is hard to figure out for me. For instance, do you buy the really bright red, that makes your lips look like you just stepped out of a circa 1940's photo shoot; or do you wear the soft, frosted peach that resembles Barbie? I had to make sure I didn't end up with some Texas Pink, which needs no further description because we have ALL seen this one, and nobody needs to see it on me. And lastly, I really didn't want another neutral that added the idea of lip-color without actually accomplishing the purpose. So there I am, standing at the Macy's counter using swab after swab trying to discover the crystal ball of lipstick-on-the-back-of-the-hand routine when my friend lets out a little sigh.

What?

You sure are taking a long time just to pick out a single lipstick.

Well, I need to make sure I am going to like it. You just automatically know what lipstick you are going to like?

No, but it doesn't take me this long to decide.

How do you choose?

I just grab what I like.

But what if what you like ends up not being what you like when you get it home? I mean, if I am going to spend this much money on a tube of lipstick I want to make sure that I really like it.

So you are shopping for a year-round look?

Yes! You think I want to go through this much agony multiple times a year??? Well... how do you figure out what shade you like so quickly.

I don't know. I just get what strikes me.

She then proceeds to pull out of her purse at least 5 tubes of color in all differing brands and shades. Cheater! I guiltlessly went back to scrutinizing between "Lustrous" and "Pink Spice." In the end "Pink Spice" by Clinique won the day, with a hint of frost, enough pink to show, but neutral enough to be worn all year. Now I just have to get in the habit of actually putting it on instead of Blistex.

I'm Sorry

Let me just start by saying that if you haven't already figured out that Leah is "special" you need to read all the blogs labelled Leah on the sidebar. Go now - this post will still be here when you are finished.

For the rest of you...

Leah tends to run off, without permission. She especially likes this behavior at church, where our spiritual discernment in training her righteously might be seen at its fullest. In fact, Wednesday nights during our church's AWANA program is a particular favorite of hers. It is always very humbling to have YOUR child be the one lost from the group where both you and your husband are bona fide leaders!

Well, tonight was no different, and as soon as Cubbies were dismissed Leah was missing. She pulled this stunt more than once, and earned the promised reward of a spanking when she got home. Daddy made good on his promise, and during their reconciliation time she repented for having run away, specifically for running into the parking lot without an adult. She knows this is a huge no-no because of possible traffic. This is exactly what she said:

Please forgive me Daddy for running away. I'm sorry I got hit by a car.

Maybe this explains everything else.

Words Only

I think I might have a problem. You see I am beginning to see life in terms of blog posts. And I am kicking myself for opportunities lost! For instance, I just spent the better part of the past week and a half redecorating my kitchen, based on a new KitchenAid mixer in RED. And then I worked to transfer my whole office from a desk and file cabinet in a room to a hutch in my living room. Josiah now occupies the space in my office. But in both these instances I have NO BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOS!! What was I thinking? You can't see how I used the top of my horizontal file cabinet as a changing table, or how the top two drawers were emptied and now are used as dresser drawers for Josiah's clothes. You can't appreciate the transformation from catch-me-all hutch to stunning office, which I completed by purchasing a 2" wood-boring drill bit to make precisely cut cord openings in the back of the hutch so that when the doors of the hutch are closed there are no unsightly cords hanging about. Oh what I wouldn't give to have had the presence of mind to snap off a few "process" pics of the transition from cradle to crib for Josiah. Alas, I have nothing to show for all my work, and hence nothing but words to give you in this post. At least you may know that I have not forgotten to blog. And if you are in the neighborhood you can stop by and see my new red kitchen, office hutch, and nursery.

Baby Doll or Baby Brother

Caleb was holding Josiah for me while I finished up a few things in preparation of nursing the baby. My little helper decided he had "helped" enough, and was trying to figure out a way to pick Josiah up and carry him to his swing. As Caleb began to rock forward I noticed his hold on Josiah turn precarious, and told him he wasn't strong enough to pick him up from a sitting position.

He isn't a doll, Caleb. You can't just try and pick him up like that. He is a whole little person, and if you dropped him he could be very hurt.

Yeah, and we're tryin' to keep him alive.

Pretty much.

Just A Sunday Night

I love evenings like tonight. There isn't anything out of the ordinary, expensive, or even planned about them... they just happen. All the same components can be mixed together and result in completely different dynamics. The inability to reproduce the sweetness, on demand, makes it all the more enjoyable. So what was so special about tonight? Just my family, having dinner, sharing conversation, watching a movie, and loving one another.

Dinner:
meatloaf; sweet potato soup; salad; baking powder biscuits - no leftovers
Conversation:
girls - talking about getting married when they get older; boys - talking about anything that makes noise and might cause bleeding
Movie:
Lady and the Tramp

Loving One Another - priceless

Mary

Mary Ellen is a cutie. She flirts shamelessly with her Daddy, and smiles for the camera any time one is pointed in her general direction. Although she hardly speaks, she manages to communicate fairly efficiently. When she does actually use words they are adorable sounding. Some of our favorites are:

Peas - please

Ah duuuuun - all done

E mana - yes, mama

uh huh (have to hear this to understand the sweet inflection of tone) - yes

babeeeee - Josiah

Mary loves to have books read to her, and will sit in your lap for hours if you have a supply of her favorites close at hand. She doesn't mind having the same book read repeatedly, and will even ask you to start at the beginning of whatever adventure you just finished, so she can hear it again. Goodnight Moon, Good Night, Gorilla, Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb, My Many Colored Days are among her all-time best loved. She will at times read to herself, which is about the cutest thing in the world. When you add a small child who can't read, with a small child who doesn't even really speak, and then try to have that same child pretend to read a book the results are comical, endearing, and altogether adorable.

Mary is Daddy's princess. She has him wrapped around his finger, with nothing but a simple kiss to seal any deal. She flirts outrageously with him, and knows that running to his lap will always protect her from whatever onslaught awaits from her older siblings. Daddy is her mighty knight.

She has a penchant for independence, and relishes when the older children are away so that she might have some alone time with the toys. Not so much because she doesn't like to share, but because she is quite content playing quietly, and without interruption. She will sit for long periods of time happily entertaining herself each Wednesday evening when she gets alone time with Nana. I think she probably looks forward to this event greatly, and were she to have any sense of time would be clamoring about it all week.

We are so thrilled that Mary joined our family. What would we do without our Mary Moo? She makes us love her each day. I know that God has an incredible plan for her life, filled with adventure she couldn't possibly dream up on her own. I look forward to watching the show. 

A's and B's

I love order. I like everything to be in its place, and a place for everything. I like routine. And I absolutely LOVE patterns that work out symetrically, or at least aesthetically (sometimes asymetrical has a place... sometimes). For example, I have a picture of each child hanging in my dining room, all in matching frames. I had to add a new frame recently, for Josiah, and I was absolutely tickled when Aaron Brothers had my exact match. I would have seriously considered purchasing all new frames had I not been able to get the one that goes with my existing pattern. Another example is the towels that each child gets when they turn two. We buy a personalized towel from Pottery Barn, in a color that coordinates with a painted initial hung over their bath towel hook by the bathroom. It is killing me that I might have to buy my towels from a new vendor because Pottery Barn doesn't have the color availability to allow each child their own signature hue. I certainly could not MIX my existing towels with others that don't have the same font style! Jesu forfend. I expect my children to cooperate with this quirk of mine. And up until Josiah they were behaving quite well. Let me explain... we have A's, and B's.

Hannah - A baby. She weighed just shy of 8lbs, was 19" long, and has a body type that tends toward the petite. She also has bad allergies, blond hair, and dry skin.

Bethany - B baby. She weighed just shy of 10lbs, was 21+" long, and has a huskier body type. She has very few allergies, with great skin, and brown hair. In fact, it was black at birth!

Caleb - A baby. He weighed just shy of 8lbs, was 19" long, and has a body type that tends toward the petite (sound familiar?). He also has bad allergies, blond hair, and dry skin.

Leah - B baby. She weighed just shy 10lbs, was 21+" long, and has a huskier body type. Shehas very few allergies, great skin, and brown hair which was, like her elder B sister, black at birth.

Mary - (you should see the pattern by now) A baby. She weighed just shy of 8lbs, was 19" long, and has a body type that tends toward the petite. She also has bad allergies, blond hair, and dry skin.

So far, so good. We have a strong A,B,A,B,A pattern, and on top of that a gender pattern of G,G,B,G,G. We knew what we needed. The next baby needed to be a Boy, and a B baby. This would fit into the pattern. So how does Josiah "fit in?" Well, he is a boy, so we know he at least got that part right. But is he a B baby? That is not a question easily answered, and while I adore my little prince, I am quite out of sorts that he isn't fitting into my pattern. Here are the facts:

Josiah - ? baby. He weighed smack dab in the middle of my A's and B's; just shy of 9lbs. He was 21+" inches long, like my B's, but he seems to have petite facial features, like my A's. He has some obvious allergies, but not enough to create the tell-tale at birth eczema that came with my other A's. And even though he wasn't has husky at birth as the other B's, he is by far my biggest baby at this point. In fact, he even has rolls! I love it.

Well, perhaps we have a C baby on our hands - although this would create no shortage of mental anguish on my part as I try and figure out how the pattern will continue. Apparently God doesn't want to be put in a box.

Knock Knock

The kids have gotten into "knock knock" jokes. They especially like to share their version of this timeless treasure at the dinner table. Our meals have been filled with comic relief for the past 2 weeks, and it is a true wonder that I am still sane. Hannah and Bethany try hard to come up with unique twists on double entendre, which sometimes works... and sometimes doesn't. Take the following for example:

Where is gravy's favorite place to go? (we were eating meat and gravy)

Where?

The gravy-yard.

So you get the combination of morbid humor along with your meal. Nice. Sometimes the joke is just plain ridiculous. Enter: Caleb. He has been on a role with a particular knock-knock which he finds to be humor defined. It goes like this:

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Banana Chippie.

Banana Chippie who?

Banana Chippie your neighborhood.

When we discover the meaning of "banana chippie your neighborhood" I will be sure to blog about it. Until then we can only save for his future therapy, and hope that medicine produces a breakthrough.

Better than...

Caleb was watching me put my makeup on before church yesterday when he began bemoaning the loss of a Christian dvd we used to own. I thought I would take the moment to create educational context to his life. I told him that we didn't need the dvd to tell us the story of Jesus, since we had the Bible.

"The Bible has the real story, buddy. Instead of being sad about missing a dvd, you should be happy that you can read from the Bible anytime. The Bible is the most exciting book we own!"

Caleb thought about this for a moment, obviously pondering the validity of the Bible compared to Skippyjon Jones before proclaiming his judgement. 

"Yep. The Bible is better than a chimp in a banana adventure."

I can't make up this stuff!

Puzzle-ation

Hannah has apparently picked up her mother's knack for making up words when the existing ones just don't seem to cut it! Take this comment she made this morning:

I didn't understand how Josiah's bottle worked. I spent a lot of time in puzzle-ation. Now I see how it works.

Leah

Leah loves life! Vivacious describes her perfectly. She is more animated than any of our other children, and regularly makes us laugh with her antics. If she had a volume control button on her it would be permanently set to "loud", because if it is worth saying it is worth saying with PASSION.

Leah enjoys laughing, and is almost always in a great mood. She bounds around the house, and will skip rather than walk just to be more exuberant. Her energy is infectious, and we often get smiled at by people passing us in stores and outings because of the lighthearted air that constantly surrounds our little sparkler. She has a genuine heart, that can melt the hardest scrooge with her hugs and kisses. And when she snuggles with you it feels wonderful. I think, because of her constant motion, that is makes those moments of quiet even sweeter.

Leah thrives on routine, and really needs her surroundings to be constant in order for her little world to work properly. She requires the same events, in the same order, usually from the same person each day. Being put down for a nap with an errant sock on the floor would never do! And she utterly adores her younger siblings. Both Mary and Josiah receive her constant companionship, love, and care. She thinks of herself as their guardian angel, and only her kisses will sufficiently communicate our family's joy at their addition.

We would be a much quieter, duller family indeed were in not for Leah Caitrin. She brings personality to every meal, laughter to practically any situation, and gusto to our life in all circumstances. We would be lost without our princess. (PS - she picked out the outfit all by herself... another shinning example of her incredible sense of personal style. This is the face you get when you point a camera at her and say, "Smile.")

Bibliophile

I am a bibliophile. I make no apologies, no excuses. In fact, I actively pursue my love with a book club, which keeps me reading all sorts of treasures (the most recent pictured below). I not only have a love of reading books, but I have a love for books themselves. The smell of an old hardback can practically intoxicate me! There is nothing like the feel of a brand new paperback, all soft and floppy in your hand. Smooth glossy covers, ones bound in cloth, short and thin, or heavy with verbosity, reading the words is simply a delight.

I have always loved to read. In fact, I can't remember a time when I didn't have a book sitting on my bedside table. My mother would comb the New York Time's bestseller lists finding new authors for me. Many Christmases were filled with new books, new series, new authors all waiting for me to devour them - that very afternoon!

I have met other people who claim to love books as I do, and not to say there are no others with my same fascination (or some who are far worse), but I do think there are a few points of distinction that should be noted. The following is a checklist you may use to see whether you are a true bibliophile, or merely literate.

1.) Can you pass an entire afternoon lost in a book and never once regret that you were not outside taking in the fresh air?

2.) Do you read the same book over and over, still aching at the sad parts and rejoicing at the resolutions?

3.) Are your bookshelves arranged such that small paperbacks are stacked in two rows per shelf, one behind the other, so as to make more room for them?

4.) Does a gift card to Borders bring a tear of gratefulness to your eye?

5.) Do you have a collection of bookmarks?

6.) Is folding the corner of a page to mark a spot an utter act of treason? (This seperates the readers from the bibliophiles who not only love to read, but love the books themselves)

7.) Can you relate to characters in novels as though they were your old friends?

8.) Does your family recognize that when you are on the couch with a book you may as well be on Mars?

9.) Would you find it torture to be stuck on a plane without a book? It doesn't even have to be a good book!

10.) When faced with an option to buy a book, or just check it out from the library can you always find an excuse to buy it? (Whether you actually follow through on this impulse is a measure of your self-control, not your existence as a bibliophile)

If you answered "yes" to at least eight of the following than welcome to the club. You, my friend are a Bibliophile!

Notme

In case you were wondering how many children we have, the answer is not six. It is seven- Hannah, Bethany, Caleb, Leah, Mary, Josiah and Notme.

Notme joined our family about five years ago, and has remained our constant companion ever since. He is very fun-loving and plays with the toys more than anyone else. He often makes large sculptures using all the organized tupperware from the cupboard. His other favorite game is drawing on surfaces other than paper. In fact, Notme loves this particular activity so much he will try and take credit for it even when one of the other children actually wrote their name to it. Such a selfless little one.

Notme has relationships with all his brothers and sisters, although I think he has a special place in his heart for the ages of three to seven. During these sweet years he enjoys allowing the playdoh to dry out by forgetting to put the lids back on the containers, he breaks valuables, ruins clothes, loses possessions, and purposely tests the boundaries just to make sure Mama and Daddy really mean business. Because he is so selfless he willing takes the responsibility for these actions so his siblings won't get in trouble.

I didn't understand what a wonderful addition to our family Notme would make. I just assumed he would visit for awhile, but we would all realize we didn't need him. I am happy to report that we all saw the error of this thinking, and invited Notme to stay as long as he wished. I only hope that he will provide the same joy to our own children when it is time for him to move in with them as he has brought to us.

Man Law

The name should say it all, but in case it doesn't I am here to try and explain something that has occurred in our house: Man Law.

It happens when you ask your dad a question that doesn't seem to have an easy answer and he replies, "punt".

It is what causes a father to punch his perfectly peaceful son, who is minding his own business, and not receive anything more than a chuckle from said son.

Man Law has no respect for gender, and if you are the "fortunate" female in any given situation prepare to play according to the unwritten rules it sets forth. For instance:

Strictly speaking, interruption of a televised sporting event should involve blood - and even then it is up for debate.

Don't question the need to buy twice as much equipment as necessary for any given adventure. What isn't used is recognized as "research" and validated in the R&D department of his brain.

Under no circumstances should a woman try to understand the timing or priority of correspondence. Men think we have ESP, but with the lack of actual speaking that goes on between their own gender I am convinced it is the other way around. We at least have to communicate our thoughts with words, be they spoken or written. They simply need to be in the same room to count it as quality time.

Decorating of any kind is entirely optional. A poster is not decoration, it is art.

Clothing only hinders a man's wife from truly appreciating the physique of wonder God blessed him with, regardless of how well her cooking has added to the original form.

And the ultimate of all:

Never, ever give up the garage.

Caleb

Caleb Joseph is incredibly tender-hearted. In the quiet morning he will snuggle with me, watching contentedly while Josiah nurses. He quickly becomes upset when he accidentally hurts one of his siblings, and he genuinely adores his older sisters. Caleb soars with excitement when he is allowed to spend the night in the girls' bedroom.

Caleb is a little warrior. His intensity to fight, and protect is evident even at four. His passion and exuberance for life are easily recognizable from spending only a few moments in his company. He makes everyone in our family laugh out loud at his antics, and his willingness to be the point man to anything physical. Wanna see how hard you can throw a pillow at a person before they fall over? Caleb is your man. Wanna check out how high you can throw a person onto the couch? Caleb is game. And anything that has wheels on it counts as heaven in his heart. Bicycles, scooters, skateboards, and roller skates all get equal opportunity to give him their best. He always prevails. He has a natural sense of balance that has wondered his father and I on more than one occasion. For instance, when we thought it was time to take his training wheels off, on his 4th birthday, he only needed Daddy to push him once before he was riding solo with style. 

Our firstborn son is a gentleman, and if God ever blesses him with a wife he will make a wonderful husband. He thanks me for dinner almost every night, telling God in his prayers how delicious and wonderful the meal is (even when he is staring at a bowl of cereal). He also loves to brush my hair, and gently pulls a brush for an eternity all the while telling me how beautiful I am. He is a treasure. I know that God has such an incredible plan for his life, and I pray that he follows after his biblical namesake, taking the land for the Lord!  

Bethany

We had Bethany's middle name narrowed down to Hope or Joy. Her daddy filled out the birth certificate, and what I thought was still up for discussion was apparently not - so Bethany Joy joined our family. Boy, was he right! Bethany has been such a joy, filling our hearts with overflowing love.

Bethany has a soft spirit that makes her an ideal older sister. She loves to play with all her younger siblings, and works hard to include her family in any special treats she earns. Her generous nature includes even her most prized possessions, and hardest earned dollar. I am forever amazed at how quickly she gives of herself so others can feel special. She needs to be with people, and would willingly sleep with her sister or brother every single night. She needs lots of hugs, and cuddles with her daddy each evening to get her fill before going off to bed.

Bethany and I love to shop together! She works hard on chores, and when we go out she always brings her purse to make sure she doesn't miss out on a deal. We enjoy thinking of the little things that might make others in our house smile, and I know we share the joy of buying for others more than for ourselves. I am thrilled that God blessed me with such a tender-hearted daughter. I have great confidence that God plans great things for this little lady.

Hannah

Hannah is an amazing girl! I literally could not run my house without her. People will sometimes offer to take my older girls to "get them out of my hair" and "help me out". Trust me, taking Hannah isn't necessarily a great help!

Hannah has always been blessed with a thorough and responsible personality. Ever since she was little I could trust her to obey, follow directions, and make wise decisions for her age. For example, at three I could ask her to go get my brush, and if she couldn't find my brush she would bring a suitable replacement, such as a comb, rather than simply come back with nothing. Any mission I send her on is usually met with diligence, and she is not afraid to get in and work. When there are chores to be done Hannah will roll up her sleeves and tackle them head on. Best to get them done and over, than let them hang over your head. She will initiate service, and cares for me by cleaning without being asked!

My first born is very independent, and needs moments of solitary time in order to keep sane. As an avid reader she can easily engross herself in a good book and not come up for hours. She has been known to finish a chapter book in a single afternoon. Right now she is enjoying Judy Blume's Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. Another of her books which defies understanding is the Body Atlas book, which is written for a 50 year old college educated doctor. She was the one to inform us of what exactly her great-grandmother's pancreatic cancer was doing after she heard the diagnosis and researched it in her book.

I love her dearly. We can sit next to one another for hours reading our own books and enjoying our parallel company. I like the way she problem solves, and tries to find logical answers to her questions before she simply asks. I think she is going to grow into a very intelligent, and self-confident young woman. I am excited to see what God has in store for my Hannah Olive. 

Moses's Basket

Mama, I know why they call it "Moses's basket."

Why, Caleb?

Because that is the basket that they made for Moses so he could go in the water.

The very one.

Eggs

Mary has taken to getting into the refrigerator against our express wishes. Apparently we are not being express enough.

We used to have eggs. They looked like this:

Now they look like this:

We are hoping that the swollen hands and face from the topical exposure of one of her worst allergens will help to express our wishes more clearly.

I personally don't hold out much hope.

Right or Requirement

There seems to be a misunderstanding in our culture between the definition of a "right" and a "requirement". I find, especially in my particular profession, that the misunderstanding goes quite deep. Merriam Websters defines the two with the following:

right: An abstract idea of that which is due to a person or governmental body by law or tradition or nature

require(ment): Consider obligatory; request and expect; make someone do something.

In other words, one gives you freedom while the other takes it away. In case you aren't following my train of thought so far, the two words mean very different things, and are not interchangeable.

Now, what does this have to do with me, my profession, and our culture at large? I am so glad you asked! I believe there are a great many people under the faulty assumption that the right of a woman to earn a college degree, procure gainful employment, and stand on equal footing as men in the professional and academic world is also a requirement for that same woman to obtain all of the above in order to be a contributing member of society, and ultimately personally fulfilled. It is a subtle transition between right to requirement, but it is there nonetheless. And ironically the more determined players in this game tend to be the women themselves! Because the fight for professional and academic equality took such an emotional cost in the women fighting on the battlefront many of my gender think the only way to honor their work is for all women to participate in the corporate or collegiate dream. I must have a higher degree because it is available to me. I must pursue financial independence because the law says employers are not allowed to discriminate against gender. And if I don't see the value in these pursuits I am ignorant, wasting my life, keeping our society in the "dark ages", in short single-handedly undoing the work which took so long to establish.

Right or Requirement? If what those men and women fought for in providing the means of literacy and financial gain to women was about requirement then I am indeed in the wrong. But I don't believe that was the point. I believe the point was to give women the choice to pursue their God-given talents without the hindrance of culturally defined stereotypes. The problem now is that much of our society has swung to the opposite end of the extreme we fought against years ago. Ask the average American woman whether she feels like she can be a contributing member of society staying at home and tending to her family's needs, and I bet you will get some version of the following answer:

I think that it is great if a woman wants to stay home while her children are young.

Hmm, so the first assumption is that a woman can only stay home if she has children, and the second is that those children must be small to boot. But a family is more than small children. A family can be older parents in need of care, a self-employed husband in need of bookkeeping, teenagers requiring gentle guidance through the last phase of adolescents - in short, it can be as diverse as the educational and financial choices now available to those same women. But I don't think it is often seen as a choice that stands on equal footing with the others.

I stand in opposition to this way of thinking. I don't see that a college degree necessarily guarantees any future success in life, and it certainly is no guarantor of happiness. I don't believe that my daughters must pursue financial independence in order to play an important role in their marriages. I don't believe that any woman should feel the pressure to leave their home and families in order to satisfactorily contribute to society, or fulfill their own personal sense of accomplishment. The only thing I recognize as a requirement for success in any pursuit a woman endeavors to achieve is an acknowledgement of Christ as Lord in her life.

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31