Sunday, February 15, 2009

And Now... A Word From Our Sponsor

I am incredibly blessed to have a pretty strong constitution. And with a few exceptions I suffer from little. However, when I am pregnant I do tend to deal with heartburn (show scene of me, belly bulging, making a sour face to indicate the obvious reflux going on in my esophagus). Yuck! The first couple of kids I had saw me trying to gag down Tums, (picture me, hair frizzed out with my bathroom counter a complete mess of bottles, opening up and spilling out literally 10 Tums into my open hand) and then wait for them to work. Then I was told about a wonder-working miracle pill (insert theme music, and show montage of me playing with my children, happily cooking dinner, and lying down for sleep with a smile on my lips).


Unlike other over-the-counter medications it works two ways: first by creating a barrier which protects your esophageal opening from contact with stomach acids; and second by neutralizing your stomach acid to lower the pH (I am now standing in my clean bathroom, immaculately clad in a darling maternity outfit, easily taking just 2 Gaviscon from the bottle). So the next time you experience the occasional discomfort of heartburn associated with pregnancy, or that extra spicy tamale reach for Gaviscon, and get instant relief!

The views expressed in this blog are not affiliated with any endorsement program or monetary compensation contract. Should anyone reading this wish to thank the author for saving their life she accepts all denominations, and currencies of gifts. However, firstborns will be returned in the same manner received. Some offers and extensions may apply. Void where prohibited.


  1. Dorothy P.9:45 PM

    It was REMARKABLE! Just as you predicted, I saw the image of you in a circa 1950s maternity smock (a very SMART looking smock, I might add), surrounded by glistening porcelain and tile. Suddenly, I heard a jingly sound that could only be likened to the NBC Technicolor theme music.
    Trisha, when your children are older and time permits, I'm seriously convinced that you need to look into writing ad copy for a living. Oh, and thanks for the Gaviscon tip...srsly ;)

  2. Carolyn11:52 PM

    You're a piece of work, Randall. You know that, don't you?! Thanks for continuing to make me giggle!